i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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