I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
