I got chris browned last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
