your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
