I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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