I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
