It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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