break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
