would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
