He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
