Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I want a musical about memes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
