i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
