lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
