just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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