DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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