the new term for farting is butt boxing.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
