look no pants
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
