Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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