I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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