in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
