mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
