I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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