I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
