How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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