the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
