You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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