Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
