you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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