Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
