i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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