Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
