Me too!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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