i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
should my penis look like a turkey
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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