if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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