the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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