flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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