I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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