I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
