She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
