Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
