someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
