Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
