i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
