your room smells of hookers.
And success
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
