Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
