Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
