I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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