I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
