So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
