i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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