First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
