I just gift wrapped bread.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
