great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there is glitter all over my balls
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
